Once again, I find myself battling depression. I really don't want to sit down and talk about it. I don't want to think about what I'm feeling.  All I know if that I'm finding it harder and harder to control my emotions. I'm finding it much harder to bottle up and push down the pain that I'm feeling.  I don't want to do anything, and the fact that I'm not really working a whole lot is depriving me of a necessary distraction.  I like going to work and not having to think about the pain that's inside me.

I know, I don't really have a lot to be hurt by. I have had an easy life in all reality.

But that doesn't seem to matter. It still hurts.

I feel like I'm drowning in loneliness. I don't know how to reach out to other, I don't know how to form real relationships. And it hurts.

I constantly feel like a failure.

Question of the Day: none today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're not a failure. Really, you're not. If you heard the way some people talk about you, you would know different. Or maybe you just need to believe that they are telling the truth. Don't let satan attack you, get under your skin, don't listen to his lies when your friends are shouting and God is whispering the truth to you.

If nothing else, you have value as God's chosen daughter. He pursued you, even when you didn't want to bother with Him. Why would he bother if you weren't totally worth it?

Take comfort in the fact that, even while you feel alone, you are never alone. If nothing else, there are others feel the same things you are feeling, others whom you have even encouraged, maybe without you even realizing it. It may not work for you - everyone's different - but that's what I do when I am feeling lost and alone. I do what I can to help others know they are not alone. Think about it.