4.18.2007

Depressed

I'm getting fed up with my life right now. I'm bored, I'm confused, and I'm frustrated. I know I should be doing something more with my life than I am right now, but I just can't seem to figure out what yet. I think I want to act, but it's just so hard to break into that business. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I can arrange my hours at Starbucks so I can still make a living and do it.



Then my personal life is getting all kinds of crazy messy. I mean I thought I had something good going, but I've made a total mess of it, because I manage to freak out every time something starts to look up. I think the few 'relationships' that I've had were doomed to fail from the beginning and I probably knew that subconsciously, or I wouldn't have gotten into them.



Then there's this whole this with my dad, which I haven't blogged about at all. It's one of those things that I keep a little more private. But I feel the need to vent about it all. Until now, I could pretend that my dad was alright, he was in pain, sure, but he was fine because most of his problems probably stemmed from taking himself off his medication and all of that. Now, he's spent 10 days at the John Hopkins in Tallahassee, and they're sending him for 3 weeks to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. With all of this, I can't pretend that he's fine anymore. They're saying he's got all this stuff wrong with him, and I don't understand any of it. And one of the reasons they're sending him is because they can't figure out specifically what's wrong! Or what's causing what's wrong... And it all boils down to me getting really upset that my 75-year-old father is breaking down.



Question of the Day: What's your dysfunction?

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