I need a hero, or er, wait...

So I've been thinking about what I wrote in my previous post. Namely just that last bit about relationships etc. Supposedly my standards are just too high. (That was what prompted the Jake Gyllenhaal quip.) But I don't think that's really true. That could be why my relationships don't last once I finally get into one, but that's not why I don't get into relationships in the first place.

According to my friend Tolga, part of why I don't get asked out is because I'm too pretty, and guys are intimidated by that. I got really confused by that. So, the guys who I spend the most time with, the slightly (or more than slightly) dorky, geeky, etc. guys find me intimidating. So, why don't the 'popular' guys ask me out? You know, the ones who are into pretty girls? Because I'm too smart. I can't win. I'm too smart for one crowd and too pretty for another. I want the in-between guy anyway (which is why Jake is so appealing). And I really don't mean to sound conceited when I write all of this, but this is what Tolga told me, I mean he is one of my closest friends, so he could have just been trying to make me feeling better, but he's really not that type.

Well, that supposedly explains why I don't get asked out. And I'm way too old fashioned (read: shy, or better yet: nervous) to do the asking myself. But that doesn't explain why my relationships just don't last. I've never had anything last longer than a month.

The most likely relationship I've had was with Andrew. He was really smart, very cute, and I'm not really sure why we didn't work out. We dated for about a month, and then it just kinda stopped. I feel like I should e-mail him and ask him why he thinks it ended, but I have a few ideas of my own that I don't feel like airing here. The main idea about why we didn't work, was that we were just different. We liked different music, all that stuff. We kinda got together the day of graduation. We were both getting a BS in business, and we had had the capstone class together. The class had teams in it, and we were on rival teams. It was fun because we'd banter during class a little, debating about who would wind up winning and all of that. (His team did on one aspect, ours did on another.)

I think most of my relationships weren't even real relationships. I mean I could technically call some of the guys I dated my boyfriends, but not really. A boyfriend, that kind of relationship, lasts longer than a few weeks. And I never had that.

OK, getting all depressed about my social life now. Who wants to go out & party?

Question of the Day: For those of you who know me personally: What do you think the issue is? For those of you who don't: What are your issues?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've always known Tolga to be relatively astute and wise.

Assuming, of course, it's the same Tolga, but seriously, how many of them could there be? Which is weird in its own way - it really is a small world.

There's nothing wrong with being picky, and you are an attractive woman. The fact is, even many good looking guys have no idea that women are interested in them. I know, you can't believe that, but trust me on this.

Best example I can think of is my friend Tim. He's a comic book artist and always been a bit of a geek, especially in high school. But he grew out of that, looks wise. Guy is handsome as hell, but he used to come into the Kinko's where I worked to get prints made of his art, somehow not noticing that all the women were all but drooling over him. He just didn't get it - he wasn't all that good looking (in his mind), but girls followed him around. I kept wondering if he ever looked in the mirror.

The other thing is that guys just don't always get that women are interested in them. It's all one big guessing game.

I still remembering my best friend discussing a woman he had just met that he never expected to see again. He didn't believe me when I pointed out that she liked him. I got to say I told you so when they got married, not that it mattered at that point.

Ladies think that men are an enigma, and we're all scared to make a move because we're afraid of being rejected. Who made all these rules anyhow? Stupid.

And it doesn't help that you are more traditional in that respect (not that that's a bad thing), so you wonder why you're not getting the interest you were hoping for while he's kicking himself for not taking the chance and just asking.

Somehow high school has become our entire lives - at least until we're 30.

And now I've rambled as long as some of your blog entries, so I'll shut up now. Just needed to get that off my chest.

Stay picky. You don't want most of the jerks that have the cojones to ask a beautiful woman out, and you will find your middle of the road guy, be it Jake Gyllenhaal or not. Just be patient.