Conversation with an Online Devil

This is the transcript from a chat with my friend Jim who lives in the DC area. I was too lazy to actually write a real entry.

7:50:21 PM Jim: hi Sleepy

7:50:27 PM Me: hey

7:50:39 PM Jim: how are you holding up?

7:51:49 PM Me: i was ok until today because i tried to actually get something done

7:52:15 PM Me: i tried to get my business license

7:52:18 PM Jim: aww....

7:52:25 PM Me: but i need a sellers permit first

7:52:40 PM Jim: I've been starting to infiltrate your blog

7:52:54 PM Me: but to get my seller's permit, i needed some information on my landlord that i didn't have on me

7:52:54 PM Jim: what is it that this business consists of?

7:53:14 PM Jim: sounds liek someone has had a bit of my "special" luck ;)

7:53:58 PM Me: and i had to put my personal bank account on it, so i thought i'd go open up a business one, but i have to file for a fictitious name thing first

7:54:13 PM Me: so i went to 3 places and got nil

7:55:21 PM Jim: lol

7:55:27 PM Jim: fictitious name thing?

7:55:34 PM Jim: you mean registering your company name?

7:55:39 PM Me: yeah

7:55:42 PM Jim: lol

7:55:48 PM Jim: well that isn't fictitious

7:55:58 PM Me: yeah, but that's what they call it

7:55:59 PM Jim: you have to come up with the name of your company

7:56:03 PM Me: i already have

7:56:12 PM Jim: they call it fictitious?

7:56:34 PM Jim: ....see I never had to deal with the paperwork personally

7:56:38 PM Jim: so....oh well

7:57:00 PM Me: but they call it a fictitious name thing until it's official, then it's a DBA because i'm a sole proprietorship or something

7:57:10 PM Jim: ah

7:57:12 PM Jim: okay

7:57:22 PM Me: plus if I want to be incorporated, or an LLC, i have to talk to a lawyer....

7:57:28 PM Me: ACK!!!!

7:57:37 PM Jim: that's what I kinda meant by what I said before

7:57:46 PM Jim: ACK? did you run out of cheez-its?

7:57:48 PM Jim: :P

7:59:25 PM Me: no...

7:59:40 PM Me: but all this stuff is making my hedd hurt like hell...

7:59:42 PM Me: head*

8:01:06 PM Jim: it tough to throw yourself into a process that you're not familiar with

8:01:22 PM Jim: but don't let it stress you out

8:01:37 PM Jim: you're trying to do a really great thing

8:01:47 PM Jim: so don't stress

8:02:00 PM Me: i vaguely remember what goes on and such when i went through my accounting classes and all that

8:02:02 PM Jim: look on the bright side!.....you'll only have to do it once!

8:02:05 PM Jim: in theory!

8:02:06 PM Me: i majored in business

8:02:14 PM Me: but i've never done it

8:02:45 PM Jim: practical experience is generally a far better teacher than theory

8:02:57 PM Me: seriously

8:03:14 PM Jim: seriously :)

8:03:21 PM Me: totally dude

8:03:53 PM Jim: like, shhhhyaaaah

8:04:10 PM Me: lol

8:04:12 PM Me: :)

8:04:30 PM Jim: lol

8:04:39 PM Jim: it's fun being "anonymous"

8:04:51 PM Me: yeah

8:05:28 PM Jim: because I realized...I can say whatever I want....and whoever reads it can think to themselves... "wow......who the fuck was THAT?"

8:05:29 PM Jim: lol

8:05:35 PM Me: lol

8:05:40 PM Me: that is so true

8:05:41 PM Jim: "and what on earth has he been drinking....at work..."

8:05:49 PM Me: or smoking!

8:05:55 PM Me: don't forget smoking!!

8:05:57 PM Jim: lol did you read my thing about the cheez-its?

8:06:06 PM Jim: smoking is bad :nono:

8:06:08 PM Jim: lol

8:06:20 PM Jim: ...i didn't inhale....

8:06:23 PM Me: not yet

8:06:26 PM Jim: lol

8:06:32 PM Jim: excellent!

8:06:58 PM Me: you r edgewalker?

8:07:02 PM Jim: lol

8:07:03 PM Jim: no

8:07:39 PM Me: ahh, i see it

8:07:47 PM Jim: even I am not that ...hmm...eccentric?

8:07:54 PM Jim: I'm Anonymous!

8:07:55 PM Me: lol

8:07:58 PM Jim: lo

8:07:58 PM Jim: l

8:08:00 PM Me: uh-huh

8:08:44 PM Jim: :P

8:08:50 PM Jim: mock me all you want

8:08:56 PM Me: i will!

8:09:01 PM Jim: it just rolls right off...I'm a comedic punching bag

8:09:23 PM Me: gateway snack?

8:09:27 PM Me: that's awesome

8:09:31 PM Jim: lol

8:10:12 PM Jim: I wanted my first official comment to be worth the bandwidth...and also contain as many pokes as possible.....without being blatantly obvious

8:10:14 PM Jim: lol

8:10:45 PM Me: PORN????

8:10:49 PM Me: c'mon!!!

8:11:17 PM Jim: well that was kinda in relation to the first comment from whoosiwhat'sit

8:12:33 PM Me: who the hell is edgewalker?

8:12:34 PM Jim: besides...you ARE in California.....stranger things have happened

8:12:40 PM Jim: I don't friggin know

8:12:45 PM Jim: I thought you knew him

8:13:00 PM Jim: he was already there when I showed up

8:14:23 PM Me: i don't know who he is, which only means one thing....

8:14:38 PM Me: I have readers I don't know!!!!

8:14:41 PM Me: which rules

8:14:49 PM Me: either that or he's a stalker

At this point I have to put in that I don't actually think that Edgewalker is a stalker, his blog looks semi-decent/normal, etc. But I don't know who he is, so the thought of someone I don't know reading my blog is very exciting to me...

8:14:57 PM Jim: hahaha

8:15:02 PM Me: which could be cool in a creepy kind of way

8:15:13 PM Jim: unlike most people....you see the silver lining...and try and find the cloud

8:15:15 PM Jim: lol

8:15:24 PM Jim: duuuude!

8:15:31 PM Jim: stalkers SUCK

8:16:15 PM Me: Well stalkers only stalk the really cool people, so if i have a stalker, it means i'm cool

8:16:17 PM Me: right?

8:16:33 PM Jim: wow...I must be cool too

8:16:35 PM Jim: hmmm

8:16:39 PM Me: so while the stalker him/herself sucks, having one is like a status symbol

8:16:39 PM Jim: I dunno about this theory

8:16:45 PM Jim: lol

8:16:49 PM Jim: like a merit badge?

8:16:53 PM Me: totally

8:16:55 PM Jim: lol

8:16:59 PM Me: rofl

8:17:03 PM Jim: I have more badges than you! :P

8:17:14 PM Jim: I sell my cookies better I guess

8:17:16 PM Jim: rofl

8:17:18 PM Me: dude, i maybe have one coolness merit badge

8:17:24 PM Me: i am sooooo uncool

8:17:26 PM Jim: lol

8:17:31 PM Me: i even have coolness demerits

8:17:36 PM Jim: why do you say stuff like that?

8:17:46 PM Me: because i am a total dork

8:17:57 PM Me: i used to play D&D

8:17:58 PM Jim: can I say something?...and not have it sound all gushy and stupid?

8:18:07 PM Me: yeah...

8:18:09 PM Me: go for it

8:18:52 PM Jim: I don't think you're "uncool"...if I did...i wouldn't jump online and say hi if I see you...or read your stuff

8:19:09 PM Me: lol

8:19:18 PM Me: no, of course you don't

8:19:28 PM Jim: hell the only reason you ever knew I existed...was because I made it a point to actually write you....randomly....because I thought your blog was cool

8:19:29 PM Me: that's not what i'm saying

8:19:55 PM Me: what i'm saying is i have never been, and will never be, "one of the cool kids"

8:20:00 PM Me: and you know what i mean by that

8:20:12 PM Jim: lemme tell you something about the cool kids.

8:20:27 PM Jim: they burned out by 20

8:20:30 PM Me: the kids who are so popular, everyone who looks at them wants to know them, they usually

8:20:31 PM Jim: for real

8:20:34 PM Me: probably

8:20:39 PM Jim: no probably

8:20:46 PM Me: but there emerges a new set for each stage in life

8:21:05 PM Me: in your 20s there's a new set, the wild party bunch

8:21:34 PM Jim: wanna buy a bridge?

8:21:38 PM Jim: sell a bridge?

8:21:38 PM Me: there's 2 different sets in your 30s, the married, perfect life, perfect kids set, and the still unmarried, but not freaking out about it set

8:21:39 PM Jim: trade?

8:21:47 PM Jim: lol

8:21:51 PM Me: you KNOW i'm right

8:21:52 PM Jim: dude

8:21:56 PM Jim: I'm older than you!

8:22:01 PM Jim: AND I'm single

8:22:09 PM Jim: don't tell me about my 30's!

8:22:14 PM Jim: : plugs ears :

8:22:20 PM Me: rofl!!

8:22:25 PM Jim: oh shit that won't work :covers eyes:

8:22:31 PM Me: lol!

8:22:45 PM Jim: .......*whispers*

8:22:49 PM Jim: ...not liiiisteniiiing

8:22:54 PM Jim: I mean reeeeading

8:23:12 PM Jim: ....actualyl I guess to be fair I haven't been single for all that long

8:23:19 PM Jim: ...probably shoulda been

8:24:05 PM Jim: : shrugs : I don't get the way other people end up "dating"

8:24:16 PM Jim: I've never like...walked up to a total stranger...and asked them out

8:24:18 PM Jim: ever

8:24:39 PM Me: :)

8:24:41 PM Me: why not?

8:24:48 PM Jim: but this is all besides the point....unless you were the president of the D&D club in high school...i don't see how you qualify as uncool

8:24:53 PM Me: you might have wound up with saner chicks

8:25:00 PM Jim: well...i haven't been single for more than a month in what?

8:25:02 PM Me: theater club

8:25:03 PM Jim: 8 years?

8:25:06 PM Me: did my homework

8:25:07 PM Jim: theater is awesome

8:25:15 PM Me: awesome, but not 'cool'

8:25:20 PM Me: football was cool

8:25:24 PM Jim: depends on what you do with it ;)

8:25:25 PM Me: cheerleading was cool

8:25:39 PM Jim: when you're funny....everyone knows you

8:26:23 PM Jim: I had a group of friends...but we were so far ahead of the curve on being wiseguys that we never ran into that much of the snotty clicky B.S.

8:26:35 PM Jim: I used to call it being a universal

8:26:46 PM Me: mmm

8:26:56 PM Me: well, i was never that funny

8:26:58 PM Me: not in HS

8:27:02 PM Me: not really in college

8:27:14 PM Jim: I totally don't buy that

8:27:27 PM Jim: you're one of those people who's funniest when they aren't even trying

8:27:30 PM Jim: so you don't notice

8:27:39 PM Jim: see me?...i work at it ;)

8:27:45 PM Jim: :)

8:28:01 PM Me: riiiight

8:28:08 PM Me: well, because i'm not outright funny

8:28:17 PM Me: i don't go around making wisecracks

8:28:45 PM Me: people wouldn't give me the time to be 'inadvertently funny'

8:29:08 PM Jim: um...you remember the whole name thing?...and that um..."rebellious streak" thing?

8:29:36 PM Jim: that kinda helps too...but I always did my homework...never got bad grades...never drank or smoked or any of that

8:30:17 PM Me: the name thing?

8:30:26 PM Jim: yeah...you broke down my name for me :)

8:30:33 PM Me: oh, right

8:30:35 PM Jim: you broek me into little bits

8:30:39 PM Me: sorry

8:30:41 PM Jim: picked me apart

8:30:45 PM Me: tired & headachy

8:30:51 PM Jim: ....oh you were totally right about 99% of it

8:30:55 PM Jim: aww...

8:31:06 PM Jim: see?...That's why I don't call :P

8:31:09 PM Jim: lol

8:32:34 PM Jim: oh man! I just had a great idea! i usually find myself doodling on a pad when I'm on the phone with clients at work......i am going to draw up an "I have internet stalkers" badge and have our office manager scan it

8:32:45 PM Jim: then you can paster it in your profile like a sash

8:32:48 PM Jim: ;)

8:35:09 PM Me: lol

8:35:14 PM Me: yeah right

8:35:54 PM Jim: are you...testing me?

8:35:56 PM Me: I need a logo

8:36:01 PM Jim: ye of such little faith!

8:36:09 PM Me: you want to design a logo for me?

8:36:19 PM Jim: did you learn nothing about magic in your D&D travels!?!

8:36:26 PM Me: :)

8:36:26 PM Jim: I can do that too

8:36:42 PM Me: coolness

8:36:47 PM Jim: but seeing as I have no idea what you are doing...or what your company name is

8:36:53 PM Me: ahh, i figured out how to do the name thingie

8:36:54 PM Jim: I'll draw Garfield instead

8:36:55 PM Me: http://www.lavote.net/CLERK/Business_Name.cfm

8:36:56 PM Jim: :)

8:37:10 PM Me: big surprise:

8:37:15 PM Jim: ?

8:37:21 PM Me: it's called 'The Random Oasis'

8:37:32 PM Jim: lol

8:37:55 PM Me: I'm going to start off doing clothing & jewelry, maybe eventually go into other random stuff

8:39:00 PM Jim: Magic Cards

8:39:02 PM Jim: lol

8:39:09 PM Me: you suck

8:39:09 PM Jim: Easy Bake Ovens

8:39:14 PM Jim: Lava Lamps

8:39:14 PM Me: YES!

8:39:29 PM Me: they have easy bake ovens at costco right now

8:39:33 PM Me: and i totally want one

8:39:40 PM Me: i'm a dork

8:39:55 PM Jim: so you can sit for a whole week to eat one cookie burned by a light bulb!


8:40:00 PM Jim: lol

8:40:23 PM Jim: I should open a T-shirt shop

8:40:24 PM Jim: lol

8:40:55 PM Jim: I made one specifically for a party I went to ....that was just black with white letters?

8:40:56 PM Me: :)

8:41:05 PM Me: yeah?

8:41:11 PM Jim: "Adorable Asshole" with a halo over the A's

8:41:12 PM Jim: lol

8:41:16 PM Me: nice

8:41:20 PM Me: i love it

8:41:21 PM Jim: it wasn't for me ;)

8:41:27 PM Jim: though it shoulda been

8:41:29 PM Jim: lol

8:41:41 PM Jim: hmmm

8:41:45 PM Jim: random......oasis.....

8:42:07 PM Jim: it needs to be simple...... so it can be reproduced at varying scales

8:43:36 PM Me: and favicons

8:44:08 PM Jim: favicons?

8:44:29 PM Me: i was thinking of desert oases, but with a christmas tree, but that's too seasonal

8:44:41 PM Jim: nah

8:45:01 PM Jim: I was thinking something more graphic, less literal

8:45:06 PM Me: a favicon is that little thingie in the upper corner that websites give you, if you look un your bookmarks

8:45:18 PM Jim: like random shapes that overlay into a palm tree and a little lagoon

8:45:31 PM Me: there's tiny icons by each bookmark

8:45:35 PM Me: those are favicons

8:45:46 PM Jim: lol...made up words are funny

8:46:04 PM Me: i like that, and i'm not sure how i get stuck with palm trees all the time

8:46:13 PM Me: i guess i should just bow to it

8:46:21 PM Jim: because that's what grows around an oasis

8:46:26 PM Me: i know...

8:46:33 PM Jim: it's either that or you really make it random

8:46:38 PM Jim: something that rotates

8:47:00 PM Jim: like one day it's a tree......next it's a little sumo dude with it on his belly

8:47:02 PM Jim: lol

8:47:18 PM Jim: A horse in clown shoes

8:47:24 PM Jim: etc etc

8:47:25 PM Jim: rofl

8:47:42 PM Jim: I could go on but your head already hurts

8:48:30 PM Me: lol

8:48:39 PM Me: no, then it'd be totally unrecognizeable

8:48:52 PM Me: iit could be the same shape, but it changes colors

8:49:12 PM Me: like it's always a palm tree with a pond, but sometimes it's purple

8:49:23 PM Me: sometimes there's a seal in the pond

8:49:46 PM Me: sometimes it's all mosaic like stained glass

8:50:18 PM Me: that way we're always random, and we're always an oasis

Jim disconnected (8:51:26 PM)

Jim connected (9:01:45 PM)

Away Message: whatever..... (9:01:45 PM)

Jim came back (9:02:03 PM)

9:02:23 PM Jim: stupid internets

9:02:31 PM Me: ??

9:02:35 PM Me: you popped

9:04:58 PM Jim: :P I know

9:05:09 PM Jim: I didn't do it

9:05:29 PM Jim: the wireless had a hiccup

9:06:36 PM Me: :(

9:06:43 PM Jim: oh please

9:06:46 PM Jim: you loved it

9:06:48 PM Jim: lol

9:06:56 PM Jim: "yes! he shuttup!"

9:06:58 PM Jim: lol

9:07:01 PM Jim: :P:P:P:P

9:07:08 PM Me: i was talkinga bout my logo, it looked like you were going to say something, and then you popped

9:10:03 PM Jim: I forgot what I was gonna say :(

9:14:56 PM Me: :(

9:15:07 PM Me: I was talking about randomizing my logo....

9:15:10 PM Me: if that helps

9:20:51 PM Me: :-p

Jim became active (9:25:51 PM)

9:25:51 PM Jim: lol

9:26:05 PM Jim: I was being overly random as I recall

9:26:34 PM Jim: but then again it's 12:26am....so it's to be expected

9:27:22 PM Me: :)

9:27:24 PM Me: ok

9:27:26 PM Me: sure

9:28:32 PM Jim: :P

9:28:48 PM Jim: I better get to sleep...I'm starting to nod off

9:28:57 PM Jim: I'll think of something

9:29:05 PM Jim: I'll run it by you...

9:29:12 PM Jim: besides...you should be sleeping too

9:29:28 PM Me: probably

9:29:41 PM Me: but i started my nap at 4:30 and didn't wake up until 7:30

9:29:54 PM Me: so i already slept for 3 hours this afternoon

9:30:12 PM Me: :)

9:30:26 PM Me: but at least my head doesn't hurt as much....

9:31:20 PM Jim: wish I could say the same

9:31:22 PM Jim: brb

9:32:05 PM Me: k

9:35:48 PM Me: http://randomoasis.com/

9:35:53 PM Me: i have a webpage!

9:35:57 PM Me: yay!!!

9:36:03 PM Jim: lol

9:36:07 PM Me: :-p

9:39:45 PM Jim: if anyone else had that web address I would hav ebeen VERY upset

9:39:47 PM Jim: lol

9:40:19 PM Me: lol

9:40:29 PM Me: yeah, well, i'm a little more creative than that

9:40:48 PM Jim: randomoasis.............dot ORG

9:40:49 PM Me: i may REALLY like my screen name, but it's more original than most

9:41:15 PM Me: all the .net, .org, .biz are all available too, buti'm not going to register those yet

9:41:26 PM Jim: sorry for the delay...I couldn't find my PJ's

9:41:34 PM Me: i'll be anal about those if i actually start getting business

9:41:35 PM Me: lol

9:42:05 PM Jim: so what exactly are you selling?

9:42:16 PM Jim: where is it coming from?

9:43:32 PM Me: i'm going to be buying solid color sweatshirts & such & using dyes to 'randomize' them

9:43:40 PM Me: then i'll also be doing jewelry

9:43:46 PM Me: and other random cool stuff

9:44:26 PM Jim: schweet

9:44:41 PM Me: yeah, i'm excited

9:44:49 PM Me: i'm actually doing this

9:45:02 PM Me: in some spare time that i seem to think that i have

9:45:47 PM Jim: lol

9:45:56 PM Jim: you found it with a microscope

9:46:04 PM Jim: ok

9:46:13 PM Me: yeah right...

9:46:16 PM Jim: I think I'm about ready to pass out

9:46:18 PM Jim: lol

9:46:20 PM Me: on thursday...

9:46:23 PM Me: ok

9:46:25 PM Me: night

9:46:41 PM Jim: g'night Sleepy!

Question of the Day: If you could run your own business, what would you sell/do?


Anonymous said...

When I grow up...I wanna be a Cheez-it dealer :P

Edgewalker said...

LOL... So I didn't realize how long that conversation was and I wouldn't have finished reading it had my wonderful name not popped up in it. Then it got interesting, except for being plugged as a possible stalker. For the record I only found your site randomly as I was searching random blogs to find new blog friends who I can comment on their page and vice versa. I'm just some guy named Paul who lives in Arizona. Anyway, I'll leave with that as I stomp away huffing under my breath about 'semi-decent/normal'... :)

Debbie said...

What? do you not want to be 'semi-decent/normal'? I'm still trying to get to that point...

If you'd rather be a wacko, I can label you a wacko, after all, you do read my blog....

Edgewalker said...

Well, I was hoping to fall under the category of "his blog is amazingly interesting and full of insight", but yeah, maybe a bit wacko is better than semi-decent :P

Regardless, at least my blog isn't totally oblivious to people. I love checking it and seeing feedback, whether good or bad, but mostly good :)

Debbie said...

To be honest, I haven't actually read your blog. I browsed it a bit before I said anything....

Anonymous said...

Since I am partly responsible for the typo-laden drivel above, let me chime in by saying I think the whole stalker thing was far more theoretical than it was practical. So I hope "The Edge" didn't take it personally....nor the fact that I shall henceforth refer to him as "The Edge"

This has actually inspired me to dig up some of the randomly ridiculous conversations I have at work for my own blog...thanks for the idea Sleepy!

Edgewalker said...

Debbie: I cried a little inside hearing you didn't actually read my blog. Well, I noticed a comment on there today, so I imagine that's your way of making it up to me :P

Anonymous: Feel free to call me "the Edge". And I took no offense to the stalker bit, this whole thing is quite funny.

Dan said...

And I was too lazy to read this, so can you put it through speech synthesis sw and load the audio file?

On second thought, don't bother. I'll wait until the movie comes out.

Debbie said...

A movie? Hmm... Now there's a thought. A movie about my life. It would probably be incredibly boring up until this point in my life. There's some good bits, but I guess that'll all get cut out in the editing room, right?

And I'm sorry I don't read your Blog, Edgy. I'll pop over there every so often. But as I've stated 10 or 20 times in my blog, I work 2 jobs, and now I'm trying to start my own business. Time is a limited thing for me....

Edgewalker said...

LOL.. no worries Debbie. I know how hard it can be to keep up on other people's blogs when you have real life interupting all the time hehe. It'll be there.